God hurts those he loves
by DocEmmettLBrown
Summary: A one shot centered around Ken and Farfarello, character death and Shonen Ai. Please read.. and review


**God hurts those he loves**

It wasn't like it didn't matter, the world so listlessly moving, turning and life going on even if every human seemed to not care. But it wasn't like he was capable of such compassionate feelings, such sensitive and such grace. Those scared features would never be able to comprehend such delicate meanings, grasp such simple life lessons. After all he was insane.

Ken Hidaka merely shifted his weight as he sat thinking outside the flower shop. The sun was so bright this day, it was a subtle reminder of his worst memory.

Unlike Kase, his grief was slightly different. Kase could be considered a friendly rival, a good friend in a sense, someone who he enjoyed to spend time with. But his heart had went to another, and though it seemed a crazy thought when it first happened, he was glad now it did.

He remembered the day he first found out, it was during a mission that was supposed to go well, a mission where nothing was meant for wrong. Yet the unexpected appearance of Schwartz made the task rather difficult.

Ken found himself having a bit of trouble staking guard. A man stricken with madness seemed to have found him and was more than normally trying to kill him. Ken made sure dodges to get clear from his advances, clenching his fist and swinging his bugnuk's hand towards the scarred Irish man's face.

He didn't even make the hit, when the pale man slammed a cool fist into his gut. Ken saw white and the pain was practically suffocating. Farfarello laughed, standing up in a crooked made lean and sent a elbow to Ken's face.

Only thing was, they were locked in battle on a thin balcony like structure over looking the streets below. It wasn't exactly built to house two furiously fighting killers, and sure enough it simply gave way.

Ken found himself, though still dazed falling towards the hard pavement, where he would have hit hard and died. Only a firm hand grasped his wrists before he fully vacated the slipping metal slab. He was shocked to say the least, his azure eyes now slowly gazing upwards into the deep golden pool.

He really didn't understand why Farfarello had just saved him, but did he really want to ask questions?

The Irish man held firmly to the small ledge left from the wreckage and started to try and pull him, Ken, into the nearest window to safety. He was however vaguely very confused, Farfarello was saving his life after all.

As soon as his feet touched the quite sanctity of the room's floor he was guided into he turned to help Farfarello in. But the mad man was no where to be found, having climbed to the upper window he figured.

It was odd though, but at first he though he had fallen. He felt his heart pause and sink deeper into his chest and he rushed to the window to scan the streets below.

All he was left with was the strange feeling of why he even cared if that insane bastard had fallen or not.

Though everyday since then Ken couldn't get the image of that perfect golden orb from his mind. He had nights he couldn't sleep, and days he found himself staring at something only to be interrogated worriedly by Omi, or Yohji.

He couldn't understand it, he felt this way about Yuriko but she was a girl, and she was a different matter. She wasn't insane, doesn't try to kill him and certainly wasn't Farfarello.

It was killing him, and he crossed his arms resting thoughtfully on the chair outside the Koneko, deep in thought about his next actions. It wasn't until midnight that he decided to put his plan into action. He really had no idea where Farfarello was at, where the Schwartz even lived, but if he drove around time, he would eventually catch sight of one of them and follow them home, right?

So he grabbed Ran's keys off the table, knowing he would surely die if he were to be caught by the red head for using his car. Started the engine and was well on his way. His mind raced with reasons, doubts and regrets of even doing this. He doubted Farfarello even wanted anything to do with him, let alone want to simply talked.

He could just imagine Farfarello's look when his arch nemesis came just for a simple chat. Could he even perform simple tasks like talking in such a human matter, could he possibly understand love?

It was a common question now, he asked himself of it every day. Telling himself it was worthless to even start to love Farfarello. He was safer loving Ran, at least the man didn't talk so it was a ever going "I love you" and never knowing his returned feelings. Ken shook his head, and pulled to a stop just out of pure anger in front of a small park.

At least here, he could stand in the center of the soccer field, think under the collage of shinning beautiful stars and truly discuss his feelings with his heart. But as he walked the sound of feet hitting a ball became more evident, so he decided to take a seat in the old bleachers and watch the player(s) play their game.

Slowly he walked to the stands, resting and finally averting his gaze over the field. His breath caught in his throat as his eyes gazed upon a pale almost glowing figure of Jei, kicking a smaller half deflated soccer ball about harshly and towards the goal he clearly seemed to be not able to penetrate.

The Irish man was cursing and again reattempting the kick. His feet were swift but aim far off, as the ball spun straight to the right and smacked into the lowest of the stands. The cursing mad man advanced on the helpless ball, and lifted it with his hands.

"You know, touching the ball with your hands is against the rules don't ya?" The mad man's focus snapped to him immediately. He dropped the ball backing up in shock and what seemed to Ken as embarrassment.

"Weiβ, why does the little kitten come to the park alone?" His voice was barely above a whisper and Ken had to strain to hear it.

"Why does a mad man come to play soccer alone?" He chuckled as he said this and started to move closer to Farfarello.

The Irish man's eye stayed focused on Ken, his hands clenching and reopening in what seemed a nervous gesture. It seemed he had come un armed, and was simply wondering if Ken was hear to end his life.

"What do you want, did God tell you to come?" Ken shook his head, and approached until he was standing merely 2 feet away.

"No Farfarello… I came here really to see you…" The pale man's eye widened a little, and Ken could of sworn it appeared a tad softer to him.

"Oh so now you have, does it please you to kill me?" He asked, tilting his head in his usual fashion.

" No I want to… Farfarello… How do you… I mean… Are you capable-" He was cut off by Farfarello.

"Love?" His voice came a bit lower, he spoke though in a soft gentle tone. "I am capable of it, and I know I do love someone, Weiβ"

Ken's brows rose in curiosity and he moved a bit closer. "Oh, and who is it you love?"

Farfarello moved a tad closer to him, but spoke with a tad bit of venom. "Why do I have to speak to you? Only me and God will know this secret, Siberian."

Before Ken could react the man had his lips pressed firmly over his, his tongue gently licking Ken's bottom lip, as he begged for entry. Ken placed his hands to his shoulders, gently gripping as he parted his lips to allow the man entry into his mouth.

He was surprised how much he was enjoying himself, his eyes closed, his hands gently roaming Farfarello's body in search of a cure to his feverish lust.

And that day, he did make God cry… he made him cry for Farfarello.

Ken shook his head, the memories were sweet up till then. He was so happy that night, he didn't want to ever let his new found love go. But again the familiar sting started to grow in the corners of his eyes. His mind daring to even show him the memories of the last mission he went on, the one he wished had never occurred.

They were there to confront their enemy, to finally eliminate Schwartz. Ken wanted to make sure he was the one to fight Farfarello, that way he didn't have to kill him. But instead he could simply let him live and they could simply run off together like some fluffy movie.

But it wasn't meant to be, he was caught off guard by Nagi, and Farfarello ended up fighting Ran. Ken nearly screamed not caring for his own injuries, but the look of shock just as Farfarello took Ran sword to the chest.

He didn't even realize he was screaming, didn't even realize Nagi had stopped in shock of Ken's sudden fit. But he was running, kneeling before the dying Farfarello. The mad man smiled to him, he didn't seem to be in pain. But he certainly knew he was dying.

"God… is… un..fair… Kenken…" With that he closed his eyes, he was gone…

Ken shuddered again, crossing his arms tightly around his chest, and closing his eyes and he let his head drop a bit. The others really never understood his sudden out burst. There for they did not understand why after wards he had quit weiβ. But Kritiker was nice enough to give him the Koneko, stationing the others so far away.

He never really saw them again, Omi, Yohji or Ran. He didn't really want too, not after that day. He sighed lifting himself off the chair and turning to return back into the shop. There stood in the doorway, arms crossed and a smirk spread widely on his smooth face; Shuldig. Ken smiled and walked past him, handing him the discarded apron.

"Get back to work Shul-chan, God wouldn't want you to slack off on a day like this.."

Shuldig smiled, maybe in a sense, they really never lost Farfarello.


End file.
